Finale.

Saud: "Well maybe I don't want to "handle it" anymore." Then he stormed out and slammed the door.

My god, this week just keeps getting worse and worse. 

---------

I decided that I couldn't take staying in my room any longer.

Everyone was still in class so I went to the entertainment room.

When I reached it, I broke down and started crying again.

After a solid 20 minutes of crying Faisal walked by the room, then came back and came inside.

"I'm going to kick his ass."

I cried even harder.

He took of his jacket and covered me.

Faisal: "Lama, it's me."

I broke down, and he put his arm around me and I laid my head on his chest, and I automatically felt better.

"I thought you hated me, I thought I lost you." I weeped.

Faisal: "Lama I love you, I can never hate you, and you will NEVER lose me."

I hugged him tighter. "I'm sorry Fasooli."

Faisal: "Don't be it's my fault. I should've told you how I felt."

I cried harder. "I know it's only been two days but I missed you! I missed talking to you."

He held my face between his hands: "Hey! You can always talk to me! Nothing can ever change that Lama."

I cried: "Walah i love you Fasooli."

Faisal: "It's okay I know. Where is he? Ana a3lmk fii."

Me: "I was crying about you."

He smiled, and tightened his hug.

Me: "Why aren't you in class?"

Faisal: "Mn meta o ana a7'6r morning classes?"

I smiled.

He then added: "Plus I have to pack."

I cried again: "You're leaving because of me I know it."

Faisal: "Because of you, and because of other things."

Me: "Other things meaning me."

He smiled: "No, Yalla I have to finish packing."

I smiled.

He left and I stayed there staring at the wall.

-------

Later that day Jenna was showing me what she was wearing to the formal. It was a beautiful navy dress.

Me: "Bandar bynjn!"

She blushed and giggled.

Reem: "A9ln going alone is so much better than going with a guy. ew. I'm glad I'm on the decorating committee awnslii. "

We all laughed.

Saud calling...

I hung up, but he kept calling and I kept hanging up.

When his calls passed the 10 mark I answered.

Me: "What?"

Saud: "Lama esm3eeni o la tgooleen shai."

Me: "Baa-"

Saud: "La tgooleen shai."

Saud: "Only an asshole would kick someone when they're down, and I'm sorry. Walla asf 7beebti ma tstahleen aswi feek kitha bss walla lisa mo gadr athmn klami. You know how jealous I get! I'm really sorry, and I was wondering if you would still let me be your date to the formal?"

Even though I got sick and tired of the jealous mawal, his tone was really sincere and I felt really good after my talk with Faisal.

Me: "Okay."

Saud: "Okay? If I knew it was that easy kan ma 3dt this apology milion mara b mo5ii."

I smiled. Cutie!

-------

I looked at myself in the mirror. No one would look at me and know that I was crying my eyes out these past few days.

I parted my hair to the right and waved it in a retro style. I wore a long red strapless dress and it had a slit on the side, and a red lip to match. I sprayed a couple of sprays of my favorite perfume, and heard a knock on the door.

I opened the door and Saud didn't say a word, he just looked at me.

Saud: "You look..."

Me: "What? Is something wrong with my hair? I know I should've parted it in the middle."

Saud: "You look breathtakingly beautiful."

I blushed.

He kissed my cheek and hugged me and picked me up.

Saud: "Lazm takleen shai bt5tfeen."

I smiled and hit his hand:"Yalla we better hurry up we're late."

-

We got to the gym, and it looked beautiful!

Reem and the committee really outdid themselves!

Bandar, Jenna, Turki, Malak (X), Reem, and Aziz were sitting on one of the tables on the right.

We got us some cokes and joined them.

Me: "Reem everything looks AMAZING!"

She smiled: "I know."

I don't blame her she should be proud.

A couple of songs later, a song came on and Saud stood up.

He put his hand out for me: "A dance my lady."

Me: "Of course my good sir."

We headed out to the dance floor and danced to the melody.

Saud: "It's just a good thing to know."

Me: "What is?"

Saud: "That I'm here with the most beautiful girl in the room."

I smiled.

Me: "Tbaal'3 Saud:"

Saud: "La Lama ma abal'3." Then he pulled away and held my hands and looked me in the eyes.

Saud: "Lama I love you."

There they were. The three words I've been yearning to hear all along.

But...I didn't feel happiness when he said it. I felt... sad! I couldn't say it back.

Actually it didn't feel right saying it back, because I knew deep down in my heart that wasn't how I felt about him.

At that moment, in the midst of all the music and people and his eyes, I realize that what I felt for Saud wasn't love. Reem's right!

I have limited my sight and I wasn't appreciating what was right in front of me.

Saud gives me butterflies and makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, but I realized that was crushing over a guy and really liking him, not loving him! 

The only person I wanted to tell that I love was... Faisal!

I realized that I was just looking at Saud without saying anything.

Me: "I'm sorry Saud."

He had a confused look on his face.

Saud: "You're sorry? For what?"

Me: "Saud I thought I felt the same way, but I don't." Before he could say anything I added: "You're an amazing guy and I'm sure that the right girl would be lucky to have you and would love you unconditionally.  I thought I wanted to hear those words from you, I thought I felt the same way, but I don't. I hate that I didn't realize this sooner because it's unfair to you and unfair to me and to him. I'm sorry Saud."

After what I said I walked away because I couldn't bear the thought of him yelling at me, even though I deserved it.

Saud really is an amazing person, but when you know you know! 

I called Faisal but his phone was turned off.

I ran to the table: "TURKI! Did Faisal leave yet?????"

Turki: "Yea."

A tear shed from my eye and made its way down my cheek.

He then said: "Twa 6al3 el7gi 3leeh."

I quickly ran, and I heard Turki scream: "HE'S IN THE BUS STATION NOT THE AIRPORT."

I got in a taxi and told him to go to the bus station.

I don't care if I'm going to look like a cheesy girl from a cheesy movie showing up at the bus station to tell the man I love that I love him, because I do!

I love Faisal.

 "I'll be back leave the meter running." I said to the taxi driver whilst jumping out of the cab.

I ran inside to look for him, and through the sea of people I saw the back of his head at the end of the station.

I ran as fast as I could in my heels, my dress was flying all over the place, and I looked stupid, but I didn't care.

All I cared about was telling him how I feel.

I poked his shoulder from the back.

He took his headphone out, and looked at me.

Lama: "You really didn't think you were getting away that easy?"

Faisal: "Lama esh jabk hena?"

Lama: "This is going to sound like the cheesiest thing ever, but Faisal maybe I needed my eyes to be opened for me, and tonight they were. Faisal I love you, and not the brother-sister love, no Faisal I love you. I love you with all of my heart, and I'm sorry it took me this long to realize it... You have always been there for me. I know that the long distance doesn't work but if you'll still have me we'll make it work. I know I don't deserve you, not after what I've done, and I hope you can find it in your heart to still love me. I know that I threw this big thing at you, and you need time. I'm going to leave now and call me when you know what you want to do."

I turned around and started walking when I felt a hand on my shoulder. He turned me around.

Faisal: "Now you really didn't think you were getting away THAT easy?"

He held me closer and hugged me.

I couldn't help, the tears started pouring. He pulled away from me and wiped them away.

Faisal: "Who said anything about long distance? Engblt b jam3t elpetrol."

I was ecstatic, but I couldn't even form words to say mabrook. I kept crying because this is too good to be true!

Faisal: "I love you Lama."

I cried and laughed at the same time. The words sounded different from Faisal's mouth.

They sounded... Right!

Lama: "I love YOU."

So... this is love?
Love isn't one answer, love is everything.
Love is a punch in the face and a kick to the stomach.
Love is pain.
Love is showing your weak spot to that special person because you know in your heart that they will never hurt you.
Love is knocking down the walls you put around your heart, because the person you love made you forget why you put them there in the first place.
Love is loving someone's flaws because it's what makes them special in your eyes.
Love is hopeless.
Love is care.

Love is blind.
Love is... beautiful.

----

I would like to thank my beautiful best friend for letting me share her wonderful and amazing story. 

I would also like to thank my readers who always kept me motivated and shares their thoughts with me. You really kept me going! I love you <3

If there are any questions feel free to ask! 

Ask.fm/So_Thisislove

Best wishes my loves! 

Chapter 14

I've missed our get togethers so I told the girls and called Faisal, and we had one of our pizza nights. Just us and a good movie. No turki, no Bandar, no Saud.

Faisal walked in with the pizzas.

Me: "Yoom agblt 6rna lha ana o shoogi o el nseem."

Faisal: "Ma y7taj kl hatha adri nwrt el '3rfa."

"Aklm el pizza." I said while pulling the pizza box away from him.

Reem: "Esh wdkom nshoof? This is the end or The hangover 3?"

Jenna: "BRADLEY COOPER."

"I second that." I said with my mouth full.

Faisal shook his head and laughed at me.

Faisal: "Oh fii sauce hna." He wiped the side of my mouth with a tissue.

 My ringtone broke the awkwardness.

Saud calling...

I got up and headed to the hallway to take the call.

Saud: "Hala 7beebti."

I love it when he calls me 7abeebti.

I blushed: "Hala feek."

Saud: "I was thinking..."

Me: "Mhmm?"

Saud: "Bmaa ena next week the formal dance..."

Me: "Ahaa?"

T3rfoon eli agoolha b m9ala o dl3 =))

Saud: "Would you like to go with me?"

I usually go with the girls, but I guess I can make an exception for him.

Me: "Umm.. Lazm as2l my boyfriend first."

Saud: "Your boyfriend ajl haa?"

Me: "Yep."

Saud: "La 5la9 I changed my mind I don't go out with girls who are already taken."

Me: "But I'm sure you'll love Saud."

Saud: "O keef shkl this Saud fella?"

Me: "Well he's tall, and he makes me swoon."

Saud: "He sounds like a keeper."

I giggled. "Yes, I'd love to go with you."

Saud: "What are you doing beautiful?"

Me: "Movie night."

Saud: "M3 meen?"

Me: "Faisal and the girls."

Saud: "Okay have fun." and he ended the call. I didn't even get a chance to reply.

I walked back in.

Faisal: "Ween r7tii?"

Me: "Bss r7t ard 3la omii mn zman ma klmtaha."

I lied, but I don't want him to know mdrii leeh!

Everyone was laughing along to the movie while my mind was somewhere else.

I What's apped him.

Lama: People usually end a call with a bye :p

Saud: Ma b'3eet a6wl 3leek since Faisal and "the girls" were there

Lama: What's that supposed to mean?

Saud: It means whatever you want it to mean

I didn't reply after that. Mta bywgf 7rkat Faisal loves you?

I decided that I wasn't going to ruin one of the last nights we have together over a stupid fight with Saud.

By the end of the movie Jenna was already asleep and Reem was fighting sleep to get to the end.

We all had early classes tomorrow, so Faisal had to leave.

He helped me clean up a little, and then we went outside.

He went out and I was just about to lock the door behind him when he stopped me.

Faisal: "Hey Lama."

Lama: "Yeah?"

He paused for a second and looked at me.

He cleared his throat and said: "Umm... e7mm... nseet esh knt bgool."

I knew he didn't forget but I acted coy because I was afraid he was going to ask about Saud.

I smiled: "Weirdo. Good night Fasooli."

He smiled and left.

----------------------

Next morning I texted Saud good morning and he was online but he didn't reply.

The girls and I headed to the breakfast table where everyone was sitting and Saud was sitting between Aziz and girl.

 Malak and Turki are a "thing" now, and I don't like looking at the; it's too disturbing.

Saud was giving me the cold shoulder, and he didn't talk to me unless I said something to him, and even then he would only answer me with a word. The girl next to him however, he wouldn't shut up a minute, and that really got on my nerves.

I got up the table really upset and left before I even finished half my breakfast.

Reem quickly followed me.

Reem: "LAMA."

I tried holding back my tears.

I couldn't hold them any longer.

Me: "Why is he doing this to me Reem? I don't get the sudden mood swings! Are my feelings a game to him? They're not!"

She hugged me and said: "Lama he's an asshole who doesn't deserve you. Your problem is that you are limiting your sight, sometimes you just have to open your eyes to see what's right there in front of you."

Me: "But I am seeing what's in front of me, and I see him laughing with that girl, and it hurts! Yesterday he was asking me to go to the formal with him and today he's being an ass. We only have two weeks left together and this is how he chooses to treat me?"

Reem: "Maybe you should give him a taste of his own medicine."

Me: "What do you mean?"

Reem: "Gooleela mr7 troo7een."

I opened his chat.

Lama: I'm not going to the formal, sorry

Saud calling...

Me: "He's calling! Should I answer?"

Reem: "Eee ee."

I answered.

Saud: "Lama."

I didn't say a word.

Me: "Na3am?"

Saud: "Ouch, ast7gha. Lama I'm sorry. I was acting childish. I can't help it! Lama walla ma tdreen keef a39abi titg63 when I see how it's okay for Faisal to come over to your room and not me."

Me: "Saud mn jdk? We've talked about this. Faisal is my friend and you are something else!"

Saud: "A3rf Lama but I can't help feeling jealous."

Me: "You shouldn't be Saud."

Saud: "I'll make it up to you."

Me: "Oh really?"

Saud: "Yes really."

Me: "How?"

Saud: "Meet me in our spot after classes okay?"

Me: "Okay."

------

After classes were over I went back to my room freshened up and around 6 when the sun was starting to set I headed to our spot.

Saud: "Weenk ant'6rk 9ar li sa3a."

Me: "a7sn."

He tapped on his lap: "Come here."

I didn't sit on his lap I sat beside him.

"a7sn keefk enti el 5srana." He teased.

Me: "Yalla make it up to me. Jalsa astana flowers or a box of chocolates."

Saud: "I have something better for you."

He hugged me.

He pulled away from the hug but still kept his hand around me.

He turned his head and looked at me.

He leaned in closer, I knew he wanted to kiss me but I couldn't move. I didn't lean in, but I didn't back away either.

As he was about to reach my lips I heard a scream behind me: "LAMA!"

I jumped off my seat and turned around and it was Faisal.

He stood there in silence with a terrifying look on his face, then he walked away.

 I ran after him and left Saud there.

Me: "Faisal wait!"

Faisal: "What Lama?"

Me: "What's wrong?

He gave me a sarcastic laugh: "What's wrong?"

Me: "You're supposed to be happy for me. That I finally found someone!"

Faisal: "Are you F*cking kidding me? CAN'T YOU SEE? ARE YOU REALLY THAT BLIND LAMA? I'm in love with you, have you seriously not known all along?
It killed me when you called me your friend or your brother it really did. Now seeing you with HIM, is like a punch in the face! But you know what? I deserve this for never telling you how I feel."
He shook his head and walked away.

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. The only thing my body managed to do is produce tears.

I swear I stood still for 10 minutes then ran back to my room crying.

Reem and Jenna were there and I greeted them with my tears.

Jenna: "Oh my god 7beebti shfeeki?"

After 15 minutes of crying my eyeballs out, I managed to tell them what happened.

They were both quite.

"Well, aren't you gonna say something?" I said with a shaky voice.

Reem: "Lama 7beebti we knew."

I looked at them both, and cried even more.

I shouted: "How can you NOT tell me this?"

Jenna: "Ana 3rft mn nfsi and I confronted Faisal, and then he made me promise." 

I put my head in my hands: "I feel like shit."

I shut my phone that night, all I wanted to do was sleep.

-------------

Two days passed since that awful night. I stayed in bed the whole two days. When the dorm keeper came I acted sick. 

I woke up to the news that Faisal decided to leave early, and he's only staying til the end of the week. 

I know it's all my fault, I know! 

I don't want to lose Faisal! He's one of the best in things in my life and I never want to lose him.

I want to go apologize but I don't know what to apologize for and I don't know what to say. 

I realized that in the midst of it all, I totally forgot about Saud, and leaving him stranded that day. 

I opened my phone, and a thousand missed calls and what's apps from Saud.

I what's apped him.

Lama: Saud please don't hate me. It's been hard these two days and I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I might have lost one of my best friends.

Saud: I just want to know If you're okay. 

Lama: I'm really not. 

Saud: Ajl no formal?

Shit shit I forgot the formal this Saturday.

Saud: Open the door.

Lama: What? 

Saud: I'm outside open the door. 

I opened the door with tear-filled eyes and a red nose. 

Saud: "y5leeli el 5ashm ela7mr.

He hugged me, but I didn't put my arms around him I just stood there. 

We sat on the couch, he put his arm around me.

This doesn't feel as good as it used to.

I started crying again.

Saud: "Lama 7beebi cheer up 3shani""

I didn't say anything. 

He gave me a sexy look, and put both his hands up like claws: Lama 

Me: "Saud laa walla I'm not in the mood."

He knows I'm extremely ticklish. 

Saud: "Wgfii 9ya7 or I swear I'll do it."

I couldn't stop 

He started tickling me, and I laughed 

Saud: Hathy el '67ka eli abi asm3ha 

I put my head on the couch, and just laid there quite for a couple of minutes.

Saud broke the silence: "Now that Faisal is out of the picture, we won't fight anymore come on cheer up."

I gave him a very angry look: "Faisal is not out of the picture ya Saud. Faisal is my best friend and he'll never be out of the picture. You have to understand that!"

He slapped both of his hands on his lap in anger

Saud: "Lama I can't be in a relationship with you and him."

Me: "You're not. You're in one with me."

Saud: "Akeed Lama? Ajl keef yoomeen ymroon bdoon ma ts2leen? 3thrtk glt at least he's gone, bs kitha ktheer 3lay. I'm getting sick of this"

Me: "HATHA ktheer 3leek? Saud this is NOTHING! Bnwajh eli akbr mn ktha, and this isn't the way to handle it!"

Saud: "Well maybe I don't want to "handle it" anymore." Then he stormed out and slammed the door.

My god, this week just keeps getting worse and worse. 

------

My loves! The next chapter is going to be the finale. <3

So if you have any questions please ask me: ask.fm/so_thisislove
Twitter.com/soo_thisislove

I love you all so much! <3

Chapter -13-

Saud: "Ahh well ana shklii broo7" Then he whispered: "I hope it's a birthday to remember."

It is Saud, it really is. :')

I made my way to the door and turned back and looked at him one more time then went inside.

--------------

The next morning, I went out for a birthday breakfast downtown. I needed a day to clear my thoughts.

I sat on a table facing the street and ordered myself a cup of tea.

I checked in on foursquare, and shut my phone off because I wanted this day to be about my journal and myself.

I cherish these moments, moments of complete clarity and focus. The sounds of the cars passing, people talking, birds chirping. It was a beautiful start to a beautiful day.

I put my pen down, and placed the palm of my hands on my chin, and looked at the people.

"Hey there stranger." Familiar words from a familiar voice.

"Back to the stalking thing I see." I said while still looking ahead.

Saud: "Well, it's not stalking if you make it that easy for me to find you." I could feel him smiling even though I wasn't looking.

Me: "Shhh, this is my favorite part you're ruining it."

Saud: "What is?"

Me: "People-watching."

He didn't say anything after that he just sat beside me. 

We stayed quiet for 10 minutes or so, then he broke the silence.

Saud: "Lama."

Me: "Yeah?"

Saud: "I really really like you."

I looked at him. I couldn't share with him the fact that I like him too until I knew everything. 

I don't want to be another girl in his book. I wanted to know more.

Me: "Tell me about your previous relationships."

Saud gave me the sexy smirk I saw the first day I saw him: "5lna n5lii el ma'6ii bl ma'6ii."

I looked away, then I looked back at him. I couldn't fight my curiosity! Shswi mlgoofa!

Lama: "Bs... abii a3rf."

Saud: "Okay." He sighed. "Esh tbeen t3rfeen?"

Lama: "You said only one of them was serious right?"

Saud: "Yeah."

Lama: "Did you love her?"

Saud: "I did."

Is it possible to love more than once?

If there will ever be an "us" will I be compared to her? The way he loved HER?

Lama: "What happened?"

Saud: "B e5t9ar?"

Lama: "Ee."

Saud: "I found out enha m3 wa7d '3eeri."

How could anyone ever cheat on him?????????

Lama: "I'm so sorry, ma kan g9dii aft7 jroo7 gdeema, but I just thought..."

He interrupted me: "You thought I cheated on her?"

Lama: "Well, yeah."

He looked down, I could see sadness on his face.

I shifted my weight to face him, and held his hands. 

Me: "I'm really sorry."

He lifted his head up and said: "She really hurt me, you know?"

Me: "I can't relate, but I can only imagine how hard that must've been for you."

Saud: "A3rf eni 78eer bs elthanya kant a rebound, bs anheeet el3la8a lma 7seet el bnt bdt tit3lg, I didn't want to lead her on, she deserved better."

Me: "We all make mistakes, the important thing is to learn from them. Ahm shai 7seet bl '3ala6 o wgft el mw'6oo3 gbl ma y5rj mn sy6rtk."

He gave me an approving nod. 

Kan mask yadi o y7rk his thumb zai kthaa.

He noticed that I was wearing the ring he gave me, but he just looked at it and smiled and didn't say a thing.

Saud: "What do you say to a walk on the beach?"

Me: "I can never say no to that" 

I got the bill, and like a gentleman he wouldn't let me pay even though he didn't order anything.

He was wearing blue shorts and a white button down shirt with a few buttons open from the top that showed his chest hair bss kan 7lo his chest hair mo ktheer mogrf don't worry. =))

I was wearing a long very light pink maxi dress, a big white hat, and sandals.

We walked 25 blocks to get to the pier, but an hour with him felt like a minute. :')

He stopped at an ice cream truck and got us two.

Saud: "Thoogiii mraaa ltheeth."

He held up his spoon with a ton of ice-cream on it.

I did something I never ever ever EVER did before. 

I tasted it, and it's ice cream so I should be even more disgusted. 

Is it weird that it didn't feel wrong? Is it weird eni ma tgrft and I tried it after he did?

Me: "Yuummmm, minnnn jid!!!"

He smiled. I'm sure he remembered that I didn't let him take a sip from my tea.

What are you doing to me Saud? :'( <3

He held my hand, and we were walking down the shore. :')

 I felt like one of those girls from the movies, I couldn't believe it. 

"7lmii ykoon beeti bls3oodya 3la baa-" but before I could complete the sentence,  I saw him lighting his cigarette.

My face expressions quickly changed, and he noticed.

Saud: "3adi?"

Me: "Laa." I said very annoyed.

He threw it away, and even though I knew he's going to smoke when I'm not there, it was still a nice gesture.

----------------------------
A week flew by. Saud and I have been inseparable. Even when we all sit as a group, him and I always find a way to sneak away from them.

He held my hand, and kissed my fingers.
He lifted me up when he saw a puddle so my shoes don't get dirty.
He put his arms around me through a whole movie.
He looked at me the way any woman would want to be looked at.
He put his head on my lap and let me play with his hair while he told me about his sisters.

Is "really like" turing into something more?

But... There's always a but.... So far, I don't see any flaws. No man is ever this perfect and that frightens me.

-------

It was lunch time on a Monday afternoon, and the whole group sat down at a table by the window.
 I stood in line to get food to join them.

"Law sm7tii."

Me: "Hala?"

"6a7 mnk." It was my favorite pen.

I smiled: "Shkraannn, it's my favorite pen!"

He smiled back, and put his hand out: "Naif."

I shaked his hand: "Lama."

Naif: "'3reeb ma ged shftk hena mn gbl."

Me: "Wala ana."

He didn't look away, so I did.

Naif: "Sorry 3la el bja7aa bs 3yoonk jmeelaaa."

I couldn't help but blush "Well aren't you the charmer."

Saud's voice interrupted: "Fii mshkla hina?"

I looked at Saud confused.

Naif: "La."

Saud: "Ma aklmk ent. Lama is this guy bothering you?"

I still had the same question mark on my face: "No!" I said in complete certainty.

Naif: "Esh mshkltk?"

"Walla ent mshkltiii." Saud said while pushing Naif.

And right then and there I realized, there it was; The flaw!

"Yabooy e5tk wla esh salftk shtbii?" Naif stated.

We were both quiet.

I wanted Faisal to be here! I knew he was the only one who could help this situation.

Naif: "Is she your girlfriend? It's okay dude I'll back off."

And out of no where Saud punched him in the face.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for Naif, he didn't do anything wrong!

----

-Nurses office-

I was soooo embarrassed and pissed off.

Naif was unconscious on the bed, I was on the chair, and Saud was on the chair in front of me.

Saud: "Lama I..."

Me: "Saud mabi asm3 wla klma, mafi wla shay ybrer eli sweeta. He was talking to me. Are you gonna do that to every effing guy who talks to me? What is everyone going to think now? What is Faisal going to think?"

Saud: "Oh y3n hatha kla 5ayfa mn rdt f3l 7beebk Faisal."

I was shocked by what he said. He knew how I felt about him, and that really hurt. That he would think that little of me.

I looked straight at him and said: "Please go out."

Saud: "A9ln knt 6al3." and he slammed the door shut.

I stayed there waiting for Naif to wake up to apologize.

An hour later he did.

He tried lifting his head: "La la the nurse galt you should stay down."

I got the ice pack and placed it on his right cheek.

Me: "Esma3 Naif walla asfa."

Naif: "La 3adi ma sweeti shai. Bs s2al what is he your boyfriend or something?"

Should I trust a complete stranger, and tell him my secret?

Me: "Umm.. I guess so, but we're kind of keeping it a secret. Momkn ma t3lm a7d?"

He nodded, and placed his hand over my hand. (The one that was holding the icepack)

I quickly pulled my hand away.

Me: "Okay aham shai enk kwys, I'm gonna leave now."

There wasn't a sign of Saud that whole day and that really worried me.

I shared my worry with the girls.

Me: "Banat he didn't send me a dm, and he didn't tweet all day!"

Jenna: "Ma knt abii a'6yg 9drk but I saw him leave the campus when you were at the nurses office."

I hugged my pillow tighter as the thoughts were eating up my brain.

I looked at the clock. 1 AM, I sighed while looking at my 0 dms.

What he said was hurtful. Maybe this is for the best?

I was pissed, but I missed him.

Before my brain was able to complete another thought, I heard two knocks on the door.

I wore my robe, and opened the door.

Me: "Saud? Esh jals tswii hina el sa3a 1!"

He held my hands and said: "Lama."

There was a different look on his eyes, a look I hadn't seen before. A look of sorrow.

I pulled my hands away: "Saud eli glta hurt me, has the past week meant nothing to you?"

He sighed, and put his two hands in the air signaling me to put mine in his, and I did.

Saud: "Lma abi agoolk shai 3ni. Lama ana mara '3yoor 5a9atn m3 ele a7bhom, o lma a39b ma athmn kalami o agool ashya2 ma ag9dha, I'm trying I swear I am. B'3eet a'3yr hatha el 6b3 before we got serious but when I saw him talking to you today I couldn't help myself, it was like I was possessed and I couldn't control myself. And about what I said about Faisal, knt lsa '3yran mn el7fla o I was afraid eni ma aw9l mgama 3ndk. I'm sorry Lama."
"You." He paused for a second. "You Lama are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I don't want to lose you."

I heard all  the things he said, but my mind froze on "eli a7bhom".

I hugged him: "You never will." I could feel him let out a huge breath of relief, as if a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders.

I deliberately ignored the Faisal part, because Faisal holds a different place in my heart than Saud does. Faisal is like a brother.

He held me tighter and carried me. That was our thing. :$

Me: "Now go! Gabl ma a7d yshoofk o yshtki."

He put his hands on both sides of my head, kissed my forehead, and said: "Sam7teeni?"

I smiled: "Sam7tk, now go."

I watched him leave, and thought to myself; So he gets jealous? And he gets angry... But, everyone gets angry...  There are many worse flaws out there...

Right?

------------

7baybi lw tboon ts2loon aw titna8shoo eb anything talk to me!

Ask.fm/So_thisislove

twitter.com/soo_thisislove

Chapter -12-

I decided to look through twitter until I fall asleep.

He tweeted: And out of nowhere, I found you here, in my heart.

:')

----------------------------------------

I woke up with only one thing in my mind. Saud.

Get. Out. Of. My. Mind. Saud.

Ahh Saud :")

Even his name brings me joy.

No one was in the room.

Shit. shit. shit. shit!!!!!!!!!

Am I late for class?

I checked my phone and it was still 6:45 AM.

Where did the girls go?

I checked twitter and Malak tweeted: Touch down camp. #letthefunbegin

Ugh, what an awful way to wake up.

I heard the door open.

Me: "Ween kntoo?"

Jenna:" Ntf6r."

Reem:" Guys, bl cafeteria Turki was giving me weird looks. Do you think he knows about Waleed?"

Jenna: "La twaswesii! He probably likes you."

Me: "a9ln 7ata law ydrii leh y39eb? Its none of his business."

Reem: " Yeah, you're probably right."

Its weird how a lot of our conversations go back to a guy. I never want to be the girl who only talks about a guy she likes, or at least I hope I don't turn into one. 

---

A couple of days passed and tomorrow's Friday! We saw Malak a couple of times, and as always she tried to invite herself. Such a pain in the ass!

Saud and I have been talking via twitter dms lately, and I must say, he's a very interesting person. :$

7awlt ma a36eeh wjh mara bss I gave up and starting replying. 

Replys turned into conversations. 
Conversations led to talking in writing class.

Talking led me to grow fonder of him, and I can't help it. :') :') 

Saud's P.O.V.-

I don't know what it is about this girl. When I say she's different I mean she's different. 

Jmaalha howa eli shdny bil bdaya. Her beautiful lashes, her long brown hair, her beautiful pink lips, but when I got to know her personality; My god! This girl is unbelivable.

I'm myself around her. We talk about anything and everything and we never get bored.

Lama's P.O.V.-

We have a lot in common, but at the same time we have a lot of differences that set our personalities apart. 

Talking to him is effortless. Mo lazim asheel ham esh agol o esh ma agol. It just clicks when I'm with him. :'( <3

Is this friendship turning into something more? I don't know.

I tweeted: It's like you're always there in the corners of my mind.

He retweeted my tweet and dmed me.

SaudAlflani: Good morning beautiful.

Lama_Alflani: Good morning 

All the mandtory classes were canceled today, and I don't have anything mn el electives so off! :D

SaudAlflani: 3ziz jay elyoom <3

His friend Aziz is supposed to come from the beginning of the week, but he had an emergency.

Lama_Alflani: Oh zeen! Its nice to have someone trta7 la around

SaudAlflani: I have you :p

Lama_Alflani: I'm glad you think so :p 

30 minutes later:

SaudAlflani: Do you know Malak Alflani? 

Why the f is he asking about her?

Lama_Alflani: Yea

I wasn't going to ask but lgafti thb7tni.

Lama_Alflani: Why?

SaudAlflani: She just came and introduced herself to me and asked what the dork "Bandar" is doing with us.

BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went straight to the group.

-الثلاثي المرح- 

Lama has shared a picture.

God she's such a bitch! 

Jenna: N3AAAAM ESH TEB'3A HATHI!!!

Reem: I say we ignore her the whole time she's here like she doesn't exist.

Lama: Me too

Jenna: A5af agoom a6egaha awal ma ashoofha

Reem: Glna 7beeb el alb bs ehjdi 😂

Twitter dms-

Lama_Alflani: Not a fan.

SaudAlflani: Lool, she's hot though.

Is he trying to make me jealous? 

Well, it worked. But I'm not giving him the satisfaction of knowing it did.

Lama_Alflani: She really is. 

Malak is tall with an AMAZING body. She has very curly hair that reaches her shoulders, and its ombre. T3rfoon alnass eli wjhom mo moree7? That's exactly her.

I didn't say anything after that. Ma a7b 7rkat eli aghrk to know that you're jealous...

It was around 1 and the girls got back.

As soon as they walked in: " Banat what's the plan for tomorrow."

Jenna: "I don't know but Faisal misses us he says we should hang out."

I've been kind of avoiding Faisal lately.

Not ignoring him, but I don't know why I feel guilty about not telling him about Saud.

Even though we're just talking, but I don't  know I always tell Fasooli everything.

---- 

I've done a good job ignoring Malak this whole week, but like all good things, they must come to an end.

I wanted some snacks so I went to the food hall to get me jello, yum!

As I was walking there, I heard an annoying fimiliar voice behind me.

Malak: "LAMA!"

I clinched my fists and faked a smile and turned around.

Lama: "Hi Malak."

Malak: "Wenk enti ma shfnak mn jeet!!!! Mara mn zman 3nk! We have some catching up to do!"

I swear this is how I respond.

Lama: "Enshalla"

You'd think that she'll feel like she was unwelcomed, but this girl! Ma 3ndk krama? Est7ii klna ma nbeek.

Malak: "36eeni your number and i'll whats app you!"

Lama: "Ma tsht'3l shree7ti" I lied.

Malak: " 3adi give me your number o i'll call ajal."

Can't you take a hint? Off mnk.

I gave her my number and told her I had to go. I couldn't stand her voice one more minute. I mean, I hated her before, but the Saud thing made me hate her even more.

She must NEVER know that I like him because I know she'll put her claws deep in him if she knew.

I slept very early tonight and woke up at 3. What's new? 

But good news, its friday!

I haven't checked twitter since yesterday.

SaudAlflani: La 7s o la 5br  -7:00 PM

SaudAlflani: Noom al3wafi enshalla -9:00 PM

Lama_Alflani: You're probably asleep, but good morning! 

I tweeted: Up at 3, typical Lama.

Faisal replied: @Lama_Alflani: Hatha wgt goomat alfeeran.

Why is he up?

I replied: @FaisalAlFlani: Well then hello my mouse friend :D 

He replied: @LamaAlflani: Touché. 

Haha I win. 

Faisal what's apped me.

Faisal: Lama I'm bored.

Lama: Me too

Faisal: let's play truth or dare.

Lama: You already know everything about me. 

Faisal: You sure? :p

Ummm.

Lama: Yea?

Faisal: Okay 

Lama: What are you trying to say? -_-

Faisal: Nothing! Just asking 

I didn't reply after that. 

I don't think Faisal needs to know about Saud. We're not in a relationship just yet, so there's nothing to know.

---------

Friday

I was in class and on whats app talking to Anoud.

She probably saw me online on whatsapp.

Malak: I thought your sim doesnt work 

Mswyaaa t7g6 y3ni?

Lama: God bless wifi

I think fshltaha. She kept typing and deleting.

Malak: Hahahahaa!!!! Ee walla!! What are you doing tonight?

Lama: No idea

Malak: I was thinking let's go out tonight? Dancing maybe?

Lama: Maybe some other time

Malak: Okay tell me if you do something I wanna catch up with you and the girls

I didn't respond after that.

----

Faisal wasn't here today in hiking, is he mad at me? Ugh. I hope not.

I went back to my room and wanted to take a long shower to wash off the sweat.

I took a shower and when I got out the girls were there.

I looked at Reem: "Enti shklk naaashba."

Reem smiled: "Ee nashba b 7lgk ella ma tji Lassa, ya 7'6k."

I laughed: "Agoool bs wsh bnswii elyoom?"

Jenna: "I don't feel like going out."

Me: "Weekend ya k2eeba." 

Reem: "Wla ana! 5lna nswii mini dj! I feel like dressing up I want something other than Waleed on my mind."

Jenna: "Eeeeeeee!!! I need to shake ma booty."

I laughed and nodded: "Yalla! Bss ween? O should we tell the guys?"

We all looked at each-other thinking of a place for the mini dj.

Reem: "No let's make it a girls night!"

Jenna: "I got it! Shraykom we sneak in to the gym?"

I had a shocked expression on my face, this was so unlike Jenna.

Me: "You rebel you!"

She smiled and raised her eyebrow: "You ain't seen nothing yet."

We laughed and started getting ready.

I wore a white off-the-shoulder dress that sinched at my waist; It was kind of flowy and really complemented my body, and I paired it with nude heels. I parted my hair to the side and waved it.

Jenna had on a beautiful blue bandage dress, and Reem wore a skater skirt, with a one shoulder top.

We wore our robes to make it look like we were heading to the pool, and put our heals in a bag.

Me: "Oh shit did you get the speakers?"

Jenna pointed at the bag: "Yep, got it right here!"

We reached the gym door, and to our luck it was open.

We took off our robes and headed inside, and the lights were off.

Me: "Reeem please open the lights a5af mn el '6laam."

Reem: "Got it."

"SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The look on my face was priceless, everyone was laughing.

Me: "OMG!!! Ma a3rf esh agool thank you :'( I told you I didn't want a surprise."

Reem: "Believe it or not Faisal planned everything."

I ran to Faisal and hugged him.

Me while still hugging him: "You shouldn't have!"

Faisal: "Km far 3ndna."

I hugged him tighter, and ignored the far part.

"3shan kitha ma jeet hiking today. I was worried when you didn't answer your phone" I said while pulling away.

Faisal let out a chuckle: "Yea."

Me: "Thank you Fasoooolii I love you wallaaa!!!"

He smiled: "Me too."

I went over to hug everyone else.

When I got to Saud it was awkward, I didn't know if I should hug him or not, but I did, and I'm so glad I did.

His back 3ree'6 and the way he wrapped his arms around me, uhh. :')

He whispered: "Happy birthday beauty queen."

:')

I saw Malak, and whispered to Reem: "What the f is doing here?"

Reem: "She invited herself."

Of course, I should have known.

She was talking to Turki and she saw me looking, and came over.

Malak screamed: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

I faked a smile: "Thanks."

She came in for a hug, no. :'(

I hugged her and when I let go I heard singing.

Everyone was singing happy birthday and Faisal was carrying the cake.

I blew the candles, and made my wish.

He put the cake on the table, and took a piece of it with his hands.

I realized what he was about to do but it was too late: "FAISAL NO!"

He shoved it in my face.

So I took a piece and shoved it in his.

We all started laughing, and I headed to the bathroom to wash off.

When I got back the music was already on and everyone was dancing.

I saw the girls dancing around Faisal, trying to get him to dance.

I looked at him and smiled, he looked at me and shrugged.

My favorite song started playing.

Saud was talking to Aziz, so I pulled him.

Me: "Dance with me this is my favorite song."

We started dancing and he had his hands on my waist... It was awkward, yet amazing.

He whispered something in my ear: "I have a gift for you."

I looked at him in wonder, what has he got me?

He then whispered: "I'm going to give it to you at 12, when it's your actual birthday."

I smiled and continued dancing with his hands on my waist and our eyes locked.

I was sitting with Saud and Aziz, and Jenna and Reeem ran to me and pointed at something I wish I hadn't seen.

Malak and Turki...

Making out...

ye333333333333333.

I stuck my finger in my mouth and gestured a gag motion: "Y3"

Reem: "Well that put the "Turki likes me" thing to rest."

Me: "You're better off, w3 lw3o kabdi."

It was 11:30 and everyone was leaving.

I went over to Faisal and thanked him again.

Me: "Keef sweet kl hatha bdon ma a7s?"

Faisal winked: "Mafii shy y93b 3ly."

I laughed, hugged him, and thanked him one more time.

We were about to leave when Saud came: "Would you girls mind law asrgha mnkom shway?"

The girls laughed and agreed.

Everyone left and we were walking back to my dorm.

There was one minute left to my birthday.

Saud: "Any last words to your 17 year old self?"

Me: "Nah, I'm over it."

He smiled: "Happy birthday, and handed me a small box."

It was a beautiful Tiffany ring with a note with it.

I held it to my chest: "I loooove it!!!!! Thank you so much Saud." <3

He held my hand: "Tstahleen akthr."

We kept walking with my hand in his, and we got to the dorm.

Me: "Well... Thanks again for the gift walla!"

He smiled, and as I was going to walk to the door; He pulled my hand, smiled, and said: "Ohhh noo, You really didn't think you're off that easy."

He leaned in: "Come here." and for the second my heart skipped a beat.

He got closer and I could feel his breath on my skin.

He kissed my cheek.

:')

:')

:')

:')

I blushed and he stretched and started playing with his hair, fhmto keef? 7ata ho ista7a :') <3

Saud: "Ahh well ana shklii broo7" Then he whispered: "I hope it's a birthday to remember."

It is Saud, it really is. :')

I made my way to the door and turned back and looked at him one more time then went inside.

-------

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